Pure Madness
by Teh Kuki Kookie
Summary: A bunch of random oneshots including Torn, Erol, Jinx, and all the loveable characters. Some may be OOC or AU. Rating may go up. DISCONTINUED


**Torn's Day Off**

The sun was shining brightly over Haven city, with a few cotton white clouds upon it. Now Torn wasn't much of a morning person, or night person for that matter. He just liked to stay inside and look at his nonsensical maps all day. But today, this day was going to be good. He actually was able to sleep in for his weekly nap because something great had happened.

Jak. Was. Gone. Praise the Precursors for that zoomer running him over and nearly killing him. Daxter had told him the good news the night before. Torn could be a cruel, uncaring man, but he had a good point. Jak always _always _came in at bitch in the morning because he was 'lonely' or 'didn't have anywhere to sleep.' Lonely? With that rabid rat of an ottsel he always carries around? Impossible.

The auburn haired man scratched his back, then stretched. He didn't even have to wildly search for clothing this morning because Jak wasn't breathing over his face to wake him up. "What a great day." Torn declared as he strolled, stark naked, to his kitchen. As he opened the fridge, my innocent readers, he felt the nice breeze all over (ALL OVER) his body. He pulled out some milk and about six eggs since he didn't have to share with anyone, especially mooching seventeen year olds. Torn made four slices of toast and cooked all the eggs since he didn't have to show how strong he was by not eating.

When the brunette finished, he took a long hot shower, long enough to use up all of the hot water. Torn even sang a joyous tune. He sang a song from his 'guilty pleasures' playlist, and he sang it LOUD. "HIT ME BABEH ONE MORE TIIMMMMEE!" After he had dressed, in his 'lazy clothes' since he wasn't going to bother with that damned outfit he wears every day, he eventually jumped out and popped open a beer and sprawled himself all over his couch. "That boy needs to shower more." The man said as he sniffed one of the cushions then drifted into sleep.

---

"Torn…"

There was a voice.

"Torn."

It was really deep.

"TORN!"

The brunette's eyes fluttered partially, then after seeing lemon yellow hair, they shot open. "Torn, do you have any missions for me? I'm pretty board." Torn looked Jak up and down, not seeing a single scar, scratch, or bruise. "Didn't you…uhh" He paused, hunting for the right word. "…die yesterday." The older man tried to hide his disappointment.

"Nope!" He smiled big, still keeping his brows angsty as ever. "I just felt like giving you a day off. So I told Dax to make something up." He threw an arm around the obviously angered man. "I'm really surprised that you would believe that I'm the type of person that would get hit by a zoomer. I'm almost insulted."

"…you just wait…" Torn muttered.

"What was that, Torn?" Jak asked, since his unusually long ears couldn't pick up soft noises. That is, unless he was dark Jak, but he can't just go all 'darkie' on poor ol' Torn. He's having the best day ever!

The older man shook his head slowly. "Nothing…" He trailed off, changing the subject. "Why are you here?" Torn asked bluntly.

"Last night I realized I had nowhere to sleep besides this place, I was lonely, an-"

"You were board." Torn completed him coldly. "No…well, yah. And I still am. Do ya' have any missions?"

"Okay, I have a mission for you." Torn turned around to hide his sadistic smile. "Find me a sewer route that leads directly into the Baron's chambers." He fingered a path on his map. "You don't have to go in or anything. It's pretty dangerous, especially for someone like you."

"_Dangerous_? Ha!" Jak boasted. "Danger kisses my ass every day! I'll do your stupid mission and I'll even kill Praxis while I'm at it." He was gone, but he forgot someone/something. Daxter.

"And how did you do that?! Better yet…WHY did you do that?!" The ottsel's shouting was worse than the ottsel's nails being dragged down a chalkboard by Torn himself.

"Now _I'M_ gonna have to go and save his sorry ass because you are trying to kill him!"

"Go on then. I almost miss him." Torn grunted.

"Fine, then! I'll be back, and I'll probably be carrying Jak over my back!" He turned to leave, then looked back. "I hope your laryngitis keeps you up all night." The orange animal said as he ran out the door.

---

Torn, now free of all annoyances, sat down at his desk to do what he's wanted to do all day. Read his maps.


End file.
